I love facebook, but this blog and forum give me more space to share and more space for friends to reply. The hard thing to do is for me to not share too much information. My security-conscious aunt and my privacy-cherishing Turkish "baby daddy" will appreciate me showing some restraint. On the other hand, who's to say some stranger sitting near you at the park isn't eavesdropping on your conversations and won't follow you home to steal your baby, find out where you live to burgularize your house when you leave for vacation, etc. And people have "group therapy" sessions where they spill their guts in front of strangers, so what's the difference? I don't think "bad guys" will find my blog, much less trouble me. I will try to use some restraint, and friends replying always have the option of sending me a private message.
I have felt a need for counseling, not just from a "professional", but also from the elders of my church. I had planned on a weekly meeting with one of them and his wife, but I just can't put one more thing on my plate--especially in the evenings when I have the kids.. I often can't even manage a phone call, but I love the internet and e-mai l and can use snippets of time to get informed, and share my life with several friends at once. I hope more friends from church will read this and comment and not only encourage me, but help fill a need for feeling more connected to others. . I do sometimes feel isolated. We were having a group of mommies/babies from our church trying to get together once a month or so, and I hope that starts back soon.
I am still playing around with this site, but I think I'm finally on the right track.
I have a recipe page on my forum!!! YAY! Please share recipes especially quick/ easy/cheap ones!
Update on my "should I let my daughter go to Turkey?" issue... My dad and both of my kids think there is NO threat of abduction. And really, why would we be arguing over the length of stay if he had bad intentions? If all he wanted to do was get my cooperation to get her out of the country,he wouldn't have been so insistent on a month-long visit. When the kids and I said "two weeks is long enough for her to be away from her mommy", he would have said, "Okay!". I know people are scared of him because he is Turkish and a Muslim. I know him better than any of my friends or family, and I value my older children'ts opinion. Ultimately, it will be my decision, along with Callie and Noah, as we will be the ones most devastated if something goes wrong. Callie seemed to think I was really stupid to think he'd not bring her back. I think I am, too. I'm going to stop worrying about it for a while. the soonest she'd leave is almost 10 months away, so I still have time to think/pray. Right now, I'm thinking that if he wants to keep her for more than 2 weeks and 4 days, (which should give him a solid 2 weeks to visit), he'll have to take me with him. If he wants to keep her longer, he'll have to wait till she's 4 or 5 at least. I know he has had his moments of seeming unreasonable, controlling, unkind to me, etc. BUT I really think he's a decent man who has given me relatively little hassle over the past 3 years that I have known him and had daily contact with him.. Our relationship is strained and uncomfortable in ways, but I'd generally describe it as civil, maybe even cordial. and cooperative. I think the baby beneftis greatly from the two of us trying to maintain a good "working" relationship. I'd personally like to have more warmth, a better rapport, but things work most of the time. . I'd feel better if he was a Christian, and I think all my family would, too. And that is something I pray for daily. I think the chances of that happening are slim to none--he's not even a "good" Muslim. At least he believes in God and will let the baby choose her religion for herself when she is older. I FIRMLY believe he has no intention of "making her into a Muslim". His family, however, want to see her be a Muslim as much as I want to see her be a Christian, I think. How could they be any different?
I have felt a need for counseling, not just from a "professional", but also from the elders of my church. I had planned on a weekly meeting with one of them and his wife, but I just can't put one more thing on my plate--especially in the evenings when I have the kids.. I often can't even manage a phone call, but I love the internet and e-mai l and can use snippets of time to get informed, and share my life with several friends at once. I hope more friends from church will read this and comment and not only encourage me, but help fill a need for feeling more connected to others. . I do sometimes feel isolated. We were having a group of mommies/babies from our church trying to get together once a month or so, and I hope that starts back soon.
I am still playing around with this site, but I think I'm finally on the right track.
I have a recipe page on my forum!!! YAY! Please share recipes especially quick/ easy/cheap ones!
Update on my "should I let my daughter go to Turkey?" issue... My dad and both of my kids think there is NO threat of abduction. And really, why would we be arguing over the length of stay if he had bad intentions? If all he wanted to do was get my cooperation to get her out of the country,he wouldn't have been so insistent on a month-long visit. When the kids and I said "two weeks is long enough for her to be away from her mommy", he would have said, "Okay!". I know people are scared of him because he is Turkish and a Muslim. I know him better than any of my friends or family, and I value my older children'ts opinion. Ultimately, it will be my decision, along with Callie and Noah, as we will be the ones most devastated if something goes wrong. Callie seemed to think I was really stupid to think he'd not bring her back. I think I am, too. I'm going to stop worrying about it for a while. the soonest she'd leave is almost 10 months away, so I still have time to think/pray. Right now, I'm thinking that if he wants to keep her for more than 2 weeks and 4 days, (which should give him a solid 2 weeks to visit), he'll have to take me with him. If he wants to keep her longer, he'll have to wait till she's 4 or 5 at least. I know he has had his moments of seeming unreasonable, controlling, unkind to me, etc. BUT I really think he's a decent man who has given me relatively little hassle over the past 3 years that I have known him and had daily contact with him.. Our relationship is strained and uncomfortable in ways, but I'd generally describe it as civil, maybe even cordial. and cooperative. I think the baby beneftis greatly from the two of us trying to maintain a good "working" relationship. I'd personally like to have more warmth, a better rapport, but things work most of the time. . I'd feel better if he was a Christian, and I think all my family would, too. And that is something I pray for daily. I think the chances of that happening are slim to none--he's not even a "good" Muslim. At least he believes in God and will let the baby choose her religion for herself when she is older. I FIRMLY believe he has no intention of "making her into a Muslim". His family, however, want to see her be a Muslim as much as I want to see her be a Christian, I think. How could they be any different?
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