While thinking about how I control my feelings, I came to this conclusion:  There is my reality, then there are my beliefs, then there is my behavior that supports my beliefs, then there are my feelings (which follow my behaviors which support my beliefs). My beliefs or my perception of reality are subject to change. I spend a lot of time wishing my reality conformed (or will eventually conform) to my beliefs of what my reality SHOULD be rather than what it really IS. I spend even more time trying to figure  out how to change the parts of my life that are totally within my control so that they are more in sync with my beliefs and desires. I hope I don't spend more time that I should trying to influence others (I am a mother, after all, so it is my job) to conform their beliefs to be in sync with mine, so that we can all work towards changing reality to what I think is best for all of us.  My mind is always in a whirl and there are so many things I think are wrong with the world, it is hard to know how to prioritize.  But I do believe that happiness is a decision (overall...of course, it is a struggle sometimes and the Bible tells us there is a time to mourn) and love is a decision (also a struggle at times). I hope and pray that in 2012 and forever after, I encourage people to love God and other people more every day and to be happy.


Some other things I am working on:
-I want this to be my most physically fit year EVER. I want to lose all the rest of my excess weight and buy a whole new wardrobe from the thriftstore for $25 or so (not counting bras and underwear... I will probably just try to buy those on sale). I should be able to get my extra weight off by my birthday in May, but we'll see.  I have so many "off" days due to migraine or fibromyalgia flareups or mini emotional breakdowns that drag me down. Exercise is so important and I really have made a habit of it. Exercise, good sleep, and healthy eating habits help so much.
-I want to become conversant in Turkish AND help Dilara to learn along with me.
-I want to get the entire upstairs of my house organized (without further cluttering my basement and garage) by mid-May and have a nice room set up for Callie in the basement by the end of June.

I think I have a pretty full plate.  Basically, these are continuations of things I have been working on. I guess it is smart to not ad NEW things to the list until these are checked off.