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Weaning is not going as expected...

4/7/2011

12 Comments

 
When my older (soon to be 14) daughter was 2 1/2, her younger brother had already weaned himself from the breast, and I thought it was a good time to wean her, too.  I needed to take some medication that I couldn't use when breastfeeding and I thought she was old enough to wean, though she very much enjoyed breastfeeding. 

I spent a couple of weeks preparing her....telling her the milk was going to taste bad and she was going to have to only drink milk from a cup, etc.  I got a bottle of "Thum" remedy for thumbsucking and nailbiting remedy (cayenne extract, citric acid, isopropyl alcohol, acetone, lacquer) and coated my nipples and aerola with it. She took one taste, didn't say a work,  and NEVER asked for the breast again. The only thing that went wrong was that I painted over my milk ducts, so it was kind of difficult getting them unstopped. They say to remove it with nail polish remover. I had a bit of engoregement before my milk dried up, and it is important to be able to express milk or let it leak out, or it can get to be quite a problem.

I had high hopes that  my youngest would experience such an easy and painless weaning.  But, NO. I applied the Thum, carefully avoiding the milk duct areas this time. Her first taste, she said, "It's hot!  It's burning" and I gave her some  water, and thought that was the end of it. In the middle of the night, I think she wanted to get up if she couldn't nurse.  She said she wanted to eat some oatmeal, to watch TV, and to go potty, but I think she really didn't want to sleep if she couldn't have her milk.  But in the early hours of the morning, she insisted on nursing, and I gave in. "It's MY milk!" And the hot, bitter taste didn't seem to bother her too much.  The directions said to apply 2 times a day, but I wondered if it had "worn off" or somehow had become less intense and maybe as she drank, the milk neutralized the bitterness. The  next day, she asked frequently for the breast, but never actually drank any milk. At naptime, she was very tired (woke up halfway through nap) and nursed to sleep, despite the fact that I had even reapplied the Thum.  Before bedtime, she had some milk from a cup and we took water to bed and talked again about how whenever she was thirsty at night, she could have her water and I would hold her.  She has taken to wanting to lie on top of me, which is fine. At one point in the night she asked for the breast and stopped when she had tasted it and drank her water.  But later she nursed both breasts.

I am at my wit's end.  I went to the doctor today and got Lyrica to try to help with my Fibromyalgia, but I have to have her totally weaned first.  I think we are both very sad. I'm mostly sad because I know she is.  I feel like I am depriving her. But most children don't nurse to 2 1/2. And she does annoy me with it sometimes. Sticking her hand in my shirt or trying to raise my shirt up when we're in public, and switching from one breast to the other every few seconds during some sessions, interrupting my sleep so much at night (which makes my Fibromyalgia worse), and besides that, I have been under pressure for over a year to not nurse her at night because some dentists think it is bad for her teeth (she has had 6 crowns). The recommendation is to breastfeed for as long as it is mutually desireable, and I really think I'm ready to stop.

The one night about 6 months ago I made her go all night without milk, there were a lot of tears. But she was going to have dental work and the general anethesia would have been dangerous if she didn't have an empty stomach. At her father's house, I think he just gets up with her (like to eat or watch TV) to get her mind off it.  That is what she wanted to do night before last. But I told her she had to wait for the sun to come up. She said she wanted to go potty, and I would have let her get up for that, but when I started to take her, she said she didn't want to.

At any rate, she is drinking MUCH less--maybe just one or 2 times a day? It seems to be when she is very sleepy that she wants it worst and won't take a substitute and will nurse despite the bad taste.

12 Comments
Jamie A.
4/7/2011 04:37:37 am

OMG, I remember weaning Selin. Selin would wake up several times a night to nurse until she was 15 months. At 15 months, I weaned her off night feeding just because I felt she was old enough to go the night without eating and it was more habit than out of need. Plus, I was ready for a good night sleep.
TO wean her off the night feeding, whenever she woke up to feed. I would hold her until she feel asleep again. And yes she cried her head off but after two days of doing this she got the message and stopped waking up for breast feedings. Later, she started waking again during different times of the night and I would go and check on her, let her know I was there and sit by the end of her bed and not talk to her, not look at her, and not touch her. The first time she cried for about 45 minutes then fell asleep. She woke up a second time that same night and I did the same thing. She feel asleep again after 5 minutes. The second night she woke up only one time and the crying lasted for 5 minutes and since then we have not had any sleep problems.

For weaning her off the breast during the day, which I did just before for 2nd birthday. It took about two months and I gradually cut out one feeding each week or every other week. Doing it slowly was great and giving her a week or two to adjust to one less feeding seem to work great. She asked to nurse, I would tell her no, there is no milk right now and if you are hungry you can have something else. If she persisted, I would engage her in a game or something to take her mind off of it.

With your daughter might just have to let her cry it out, which I know sounds horrible and makes your heart hurt, but really after a couple of days of sticking to your guns she will get the message.

Reply
Tori Cooper
4/7/2011 04:38:34 am

Hang in there, it sounds like she is reaching that point. I had the same experience, I also needed to wean my 2nd at that age in order to take a medication. It is heartbreaking, and exhausting. Honestly every baby is so different and YOU need to do this, but you have to do your way. So I offer up prayers and encouragement for you both. One thing I did for both was have a weaning party, complete with cake, small presents and balloons. This made them both feel proud that they had made it over a milestone.

Reply
Lydia
4/7/2011 10:00:43 am

Thanks Jamie and Tori--I think weaning may be harder in ways with an older child, so your voices of experience are helpful. I'm afraid I'll have to let her cry it out. We have, I think, gotten the daytime nursings eliminated, but these nighttime nursings are tough. But she does without at her father's house, so I know she can do it! I have asked him if maybe he'll keep her overnight on Friday AND Saturday this week, just for bedtime. But that won't be necessary if she does okay tonight. My fingers are crossed!!!

I did get her a special "Cinderella" cup (she is already into princesses and fairies) for bedtime---hadn't thought of a party!

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Lydia
4/7/2011 11:39:44 pm

Well, I think we've done it! Only a few seconds at the breast last night!! Several episodes of frustration, tears, but she ended up rolling over and going back to sleep or else going back to sleep in my arms. I took my first dose of Lyrica this morning.

Reply
Lydia
4/12/2011 01:43:11 am

Tuesday morning,I think my milk is drying up. I felt a little full for a few days, but not too painful or uncomfortable. Breasts are much softer now than on Sunday. I haven't had any leaking. She still seeks the breast in her sleep and is looking sadly at and touching my breasts during the day and says "Your milk is too hot". Lyrica seems to have no effect yet on my pain. I am sleeping better at night, I think, without being made into a human pacifier.

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